Tales from Loren Beachy

Loren Beachy is a young Amish man living in the Indiana Amish community. A man of many talents, Loren earns his living as a construction worker, school teacher, a columnist, and his favorite of all, as a licensed auctioneer. We hope you enjoy his unique perspective and his wonderful sense of humor.

Wisecrack Wanda

Arriving at the local Amish school, she strolls from the bike rack to the schoolhouse, stray strands of hair fluttering rebelliously outside her covering. The hair shouts not so much of rebellion, but of a relaxed attitude about perfection, or the lack of it. Here is the story of Wisecrack Wanda, who has a [...]

2019-07-12T18:41:21-04:00January 18th, 2017|Tales from Loren Beachy|

An Amish Bachelor’s Life

“I guess my children just won’t have any cousins!” The words of my 13-year-old sister Grace, expressing her utter despair over my prospects of ever finding a wife and raising a family. I am now 23 years old with no girlfriend. I think I remember reading somewhere that the average Amish boy marries at [...]

2019-07-12T18:41:49-04:00January 18th, 2017|Tales from Loren Beachy|

The Single Boys Gathering

“Rich bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.” - Oscar Wilde Please, put your horse whip away. I’m just repeating that - without commenting on it. Snicker. That saying was one of a few handfuls posted on the wall at the 2011 Single Boys’ [...]

2019-07-12T18:42:08-04:00January 18th, 2017|Tales from Loren Beachy|

An Amish Letter to the President

Plummeting gas prices! Lower taxes! Increased physical fitness! Yes, we can. More benefits later, keep reading... Mr. President, I present to you a very frugal stimulus plan. Imagine the vast improvements, the splendid benefits we’ll enjoy if we take action on this. Have everyone in America use bicycles as their sole mode of transportation. [...]

2019-07-19T13:44:01-04:00January 18th, 2017|Tales from Loren Beachy|

Christmas in Pennsylvania – Go East Young Man!

Here come the Hoosiers! We roll into David Zook’s driveway in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, in two vans loaded with twenty of us, ages twenty to twenty-seven, slightly shy of eight o’clock, Christmas Day 2010. Pennsylvania folk are waiting for us. Young people are there along with some older, married brethren. This “singing” is held [...]

2019-07-12T18:43:00-04:00January 18th, 2017|Tales from Loren Beachy|

Affable Abe

He strolls through the creaky farmhouse door happily yodeling, a favorite hobby of his, and pauses long enough to boom a pleasant "good morning" to his mother who is busily preparing breakfast. The hour is only 6 o’clock, but Affable Abe has been out of bed and outside in the cold of a January [...]

2019-07-12T18:43:22-04:00January 18th, 2017|Tales from Loren Beachy|