Ask Viola
Have you ever wanted to ask an Amish person a question? Here is your opportunity! Send us your questions and we'll forward them on to Viola, a young Amish woman living in the midwest. She will answer the questions she feels best able.
Donna asks...
Do the Amish visit the grave site (after the funeral) of family members who have died? Can they leave flowers?
Yes, we do occasionally visit, although it is not a common practice. Sometimes a person may bring flowers from their garden. If there is a funeral, people will often visit other grave sites while they are there. We try to remember that death is a part of life and not cling to the grief. However, we do value our families and love to retell stories of loved ones who are no longer with us. My mother's friend likes to gather a group of friends once a year to visit her parents' gravesite and reminisce.
Lexxie asks...
First off I would like to say this is very exciting! I have not had any communication with Amish, but I'm fascinated with them. I am a 12 year old girl who would one day love to come visit an Amish community. I would like to ask you about Amish weddings. What kind of food do you have for the reception?
The traditional menu at an Amish wedding reception in my area features; bread (homemade), mashed potatoes and gravy, dressing (chicken stuffing), noodles, a vegetable, salad, cheese and meat. Dessert is usually two kinds of pie, cake, pudding, jello and fruit. The way to be able to taste everything is to only take a small dab of everything. Even then you might be stuffed by the time the meal ends!
Lexxie also asks...
I would also like to ask what kind of meals do you have for breakfast? Thank you so much for your time I really do appreciate it. Hope to hear back.
As for my breakfast, I eat what my brother calls “cardboard” cereal. I love whole grain, unsweetened cereals that require a lot of chewing (which is why my brother calls it cardboard cereal). I usually have a bowl of good healthy cereal, a glass or milk or juice, and a cup of coffee to start my day off right.
[Editor's Note: Viola's breakfast choice may surprise many of you, as most think of Amish people eating hearty breakfasts. It is our experience that many do eat large breakfasts for their labor-intensive workdays, but the Amish are also becoming more health-conscience along with the rest of America.]
Linsey asks...
Understanding that the Amish generally use a horse and buggy for transportation, what do you use for faster transportation in cases of emergency, like going to the hospital?
In cases of emergencies we hire someone to drive us to the hospital or call an ambulance. For trips too great a distance for travel with horse and buggy, we also hire a driver.
Shelley asks...
I have a few questions regarding your faith. What denomination are the Amish?
Our religion is Christianity. I guess you could say our denomination is Amish, though we don’t necessarily have a denomination.
Shelley also asks...
I have read that you believe in water baptism. Do you wait until the person is of an age to understand what baptism means, or do you baptize as an infant?
We believe baptism should not be performed until the person is of an age to understand what baptism is about and voluntarily gives their life to Jesus. You'll find more information about the history of the Amish and baptism here.
Shelley asks one more question...
I also wonder why the Amish keep themselves so separate from other Christians. Do they welcome other believers in God to their church?
The Amish keep themselves separate so that they are not tempted by the things and ways of the world. The purpose of the lifestyle we live is to keep our lives simple and less cluttered so that we can focus wholly on Jesus Christ and the way God wants us to live. Anyone is welcome to attend our church services as long as they do not try to lead our people astray. Since the services are mostly in German and Pennsylvania Dutch, it would be beneficial to the visitor if they know those languages or had someone explain what part of the Bible they were teaching from so the visitor can better follow along. Thank you for the questions and God be with you!
Nancy asks...
I have some Amish friends who are expecting their fourth baby any time this month. I would like to put a basket together for the family including the baby and their three little girls, and for the parents. I would like the gifts to be useful. Wondering if a small tea set for the girls would be ok.
Yes, a tea set is a nice choice for the girls. For the baby, any useful items are welcome such as washcloths, baby shampoo, etc. For the parents taking in a meal is most appreciated. Always nice to have a new baby around and nice neighbors to help support them during this busy time!
Donna asks...
I know the Amish quilt by hand, and I also know they use sewing machines for making clothing and such. My question is this: Do they use the sewing machine when piecing a quilt to do it quickly, or do they do the entire quilt process by hand.
Sewing machines are used to piece quilts. It takes too much time otherwise. Most of the quilts are hand-quilted though. Without electricity, most households use foot-operated treadle sewing machines.
Debbie from Oklahoma asks...
Does each family pay for their own medical emergencies or is there some type of community health insurance where the burden is shared?
If the family can afford to pay their own medical expenses they do so. If not, we have what is called a free-will plan. First the other members of the church district in which the medical emergency occurred give a free-will offering. If the bill is too high to be covered by this offering, a letter is sent to neighboring districts or communities asking for free-will offerings.
Fundraisers are another way to raise money. This can be done through get-togethers or food drives. For a food drive, a group will organize and assemble food (pizza, donuts, fry pies, chicken, sub sandwiches, etc.) which they sell door-to-door.
Ricky asks...
How many acres total is a typical Amish farm? How many acres in pasture and crop? Thank You!
This is a challenging question to answer! Viola did not have an exact answer for this, so we have asked around to our other Amish friends. A good estimate would be around 40 to 60 acres, but this number varies widely depending on their occupation. An Amish farmer can easily own over a hundred acres for crops, garden, pasture grazing and woods. But if the homeowner is a craftsman, the family may only have a few acres for their horses to graze. Then there are those who do both, so they might have 20 or more acres. They might work in a factory and run a small farm with horses, cows, pigs, chickens, corn crops, a large garden, etc. Thanks for writing and helping us to learn something new!
Tammy from Michigan asks...
Do you go to singings?
Yes, I do go to singings occasionally. Singings are youth gatherings where hymns or traditional praise songs are sung without instruments. These singings are usually held at the home of the family that recently hosted church, so there is room ready for a large group (often 100 – 150 people).
Tammy from Michigan also asks...
Also wondering why the Amish have to keep their relationships a secret till the engagement is announced in the Amish paper, The Budget?
Relationships are not kept secret until engagement is announced. Only the wedding plans are not talked about publically until the engagement is announced because something can always happen, such as a breakup, before the engagement or wedding. Engagement announcements are not usually published in the Budget, but most often in local Amish publications.
...and one more question from Tammy in Michigan:
I read a lot of fiction books about the Amish written by an author who has Amish relatives and I have learned a lot about the Amish as she doesn't make a lot of it up with the language, lifestyle, etc.! Are you allowed to read fiction and romantic books?
Regarding books, we are allowed to read whatever we wish. Something spiritually edifying is best, because you often think and do what you read.
[Editor's Note: It has been our experience that what we've read in Amish fiction does not necessarily match the life of the Amish we know. This might be because Amish fiction is a blend of fact and fiction. Or it might be based on the author's knowledge and experience. For example, they might be writing from an earlier time period, like the 1950's when certain rules applied then, but are different now. Or they are writing from the experiences of Amish in a specific community.]
Deedra asks...
Although we live near Amish I have never been brave enough to ask them about their Christmas traditions. I know that our Mennonite neighbors celebrate with gifts but no tree. Can you please tell me what your family does?
My family also celebrates with gifts and no tree. Usually we will get together for a meal and possibly sing carols. We try to focus on celebrating the most important part, which is the reason for the season, and not be distracted by gifts.
Melissa from Ohio asks...
I was surprised to see canned soup used in the Amish recipe for Wet Burrito Casserole. I thought the Amish did not use "convenience" foods. Is this a common practice?
You just might be surprised at what you would find if you looked into the pantry and refrigerator of an Amish home. Our lives can be busy and hectic too! Quick meals are wonderful for days like that. Canned and packaged foods are great for quick meals. Canned soups make flavorful sauces for casseroles and meats. We do can and freeze many of our own foods, but this varies from household to household. The reasons being economical (raising and canning/freezing your own food is cheaper than store-bought) or because the flavor is better and it is healthier. Here are a few things found in my pantry and refrigerator: cake mix, canned soups, ramen noodles, gravy mix, hot dogs, salad dressing, condiments and tuna. And, of course, staples like flour, sugar, salt and baking supplies.
Karen from Kentucky asks...
Do you use a wringer washer and if so, what is the energy source that runs it?
We do use wringer washers for laundry and the most common energy source is a gasoline engine.
Laundry is washed in the washer, wrung with the wringer, rinsed in plain water, wrung out again, rinsed in water which has fabric softener added, and wrung out again into the laundry basket. Then it is hung on the clothesline with clothespins (or hung onto clothespin rings) outside to dry. Shirts, pants, and dresses are not put through the wringer because it wrinkles them terribly and gives you lots of ironing [editor's note: Viola uses a gas-powered iron]. They are hung on the line and allowed to "drip-dry". The laundry process has a tendency to make you wet so it isn't much fun in the cold winter time. We are fortunate to have a basement large enough to hang most of the laundry to dry if it is too cold outside.
Karen also asks...
I know that an Amish man only grows a beard once he is married (or a bachelor over 40), but is there a way to distinguish single young ladies?
At church, unmarried women wear black prayer kapps and married women wear white kapps. Outside of church it's harder to tell; married women tend to dress more formally than unmarrieds, but there are no hard and fast rules for what to wear, and it can change from community to community. So I guess if a young man spots a young woman and isn't sure, he'd better start asking questions!
Erik from Amish America asks...
Do the Amish ride horses?
Yes, children and young adults do ride for pleasure. In Indiana they have groups that go riding, and sometimes do it as a fundraiser, where everyone pays a certain amount to ride for the day. They often use the Pumpkinvine Nature Trail, which runs between Goshen and Middlebury. The trail was originally a train line that was established in 1851. Local volunteers have turned it into a beautiful nature trail.
Many Amish keep cows which are turned out to pasture on large pieces of land. Family youth are responsible in many cases to bring them in at the end of day, and will sometimes ride on horseback to do the job.
Adults generally do not ride on horseback, because a buggy horse is a neccessity, but a riding horse is an expensive pleasure.
Jackie from California asks...
Do you attend church on Sunday?
We attend our local church every other Sunday, but we do not have actual church buildings. There are many churches in one community and we attend the one closest to us. The reason for this is not that one church is any different from another; it is so the people fit into the home of the family which is hosting church, since the average house can’t hold much over a hundred people and there are more people than that in many communities. This home-based church style is modeled after the example of the early church in the New Testament. Thus with having so many churches in one community, holding church every other Sunday enables those who like to visit neighboring churches to do so. People also use the “off” Sunday to rest and visit families or friends.
On Sundays we do not do any work beyond what is necessary. The reason being because God sanctified and blessed the Sabbath and commanded his people to keep it holy. Since God rested on the seventh day (Genesis 2:2-3) so do we. We try to refrain from worldly pursuits, thinking on holy things and spending time in devotion to God (Exodus 20:8-11).
Diane from Washington asks...
Does your extended family live together in one house?
Extended family don’t usually live in the same house, but often nearby. I have two married older brothers with homes of their own about seventeen and twenty-two miles from us. My younger brother and I are well over eighteen and still live at home with Mom and Dad. This enables us to save up some money for future homes of our own. We do chip in to help pay some of the bills.
We do have a small house attached to ours where my great-uncle lives. He is mentally handicapped and unable to care for himself without supervision. This is not an uncommon practice among the Amish. Many families have a smaller Dawdy (grandparent) house attached or close to their own for their elderly parents. This enables the adult children to care for their parents without the tensions of having them in the children’s home. In caring for our own this way, our elderly do not need to live in nursing homes. This practice, like many, is handled differently from family to family.
Rob from Indiana asks...
Without television, what does a family do in the evening?
Many times a family will read a book or do devotions in the evenings. Not necessarily out loud, but each member reading their own book. Families also enjoy playing games together. My mom, brother and I enjoy playing Speed Scrabble. This is played without the board, only using the tiles. We also spend many evenings talking to each other – connecting, bonding, being a family. Hobbies are great for using up a free evening. My dad likes spending his evenings in his small woodshop tinkering around with different projects. Really an evening is even a great time to write letters to friends and clean out that kitchen junk drawer!
Cara from Virginia asks...
What version of the Bible do you use or is it personal preference?
Most people in my community use the King James version. You will find people who do use other versions but it is encouraged to use the King James. But it is still each to his own.
McKenna from California asks...
What do you do for fun?
Ride bikes, go fishing, play games, spend time with friends, work on hobbies, ride horses, read, putter in the flower garden, etc.
Elya from Arkansas asks...
Are you restricted from eating certain foods?
No.
[Editor's Note: We loved the simple brevity of Viola's answer and left it as-is.]
Julie from Texas asks...
Without electric dryers, how do you dry laundry best in the winter months? Does laundry actually dry when you leave it hanging on the line when it snows?
Believe it or not, in very cold, windy, sunny weather, the laundry freeze-dries on the line. Sometimes it takes a day or two. If it snows that is bad news for drying laundry. Then we will bring it in and hang things like the dresses in the bathtub and the rest of the laundry on wooden clothes dryers. We usually hang our laundry in the basement on pulldown laundry lines. It generally dries fairly well there if it isn’t too dreary. Also there is always the option to having the living and kitchen cluttered with laundry dryers and drying clothing! :)
